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Good ole clean fun!
On Sunday night, Alec Baldwin was the center of attention for Comedy Central’s annual roast. And this year’s honoree didn’t disappoint when he got up to the podium and poked fun at his guests, which included his daughter Ireland Baldwin, Blake Griffin, Caitlyn Jenner, Ken Jeong, Nikki Glaser, Robert De Niro and many, many others.
However, it was Glaser and Griffin who stole the show during tonight’s knee-slapping roast. “Robert De Niro, I can’t believe I get to share this stage with you, and by that I mean the final one of your life,” the Trainwreck star and comedian quipped.
Later that night, she added, “Alec, you’ve had four kids with Hilaria [Baldwin], which is incredible, because isn’t your s—n just oatmeal at this point? Oh, Robert just got excited when I said ‘oatmeal!’”
Moreover, the NBA player knocked it out of the park with joke after joke.
His most memorable? “On behalf of the entire NBA and half the rappers on the Billboard charts, thanks for giving your daughters daddy issues,” he said. Ouch! Roast Master Sean Hayes had everyone in the room crying tears of laughter with his roasts of the night.
If you weren’t able to see the comedy special on Sunday night, take a look at the funniest roasts of the night in our gallery below.
The 35-year-old comedian kicked things off and was arguably the best of night. “Robert De Niro,” she began. “I can’t believe I get to share this stage with you, and by that I mean the final one of your life.” Later, she added, “Alec, you’ve had four kids with Hilaria [Baldwin], which is incredible, because isn’t your s—n just oatmeal at this point? Oh, Robert just got excited when I said ‘oatmeal!’”
Considering Hayes was the Roast Master of the night, it only makes sense he would make this list. Staring things off, he said, “No offense, Blake [Griffin], but I’m a better ball handler than you.” Later that night, he poked fun at Baldwin. “It’s true, Alec had a substance abuse problem in the past, but he worked through it and hasn’t done anything of substance in 20 years.”
The surprise hit of the night was the 30-year-old star, who made everyone cry tears of laughter. And yes, shots were fired. “On behalf of the entire NBA and half the rappers on the Billboard charts, thanks for giving your daughters daddy issues.” OKURRR.
Grab the tissues, because the 61-year-old will make you cry tears of laughter. “Sharing the spotlight is my gift to all of you,” he began. But taking things to a new level, he poked fun at the NBA player, saying, “Blake, moving from LA to Detroit is so sad. That only happens when a prostitute’s body is sent back to her family.”
The legendary actor didn’t mind poking fun at himself tonight. “After tonight, Rocky and Bullwinkle won’t be the worst thing I’ve ever done,” he quipped. He also teased Caitlyn Jenner and said, “Comedy Central wouldn’t put Caitlyn Jenner on a roast until after her transition so they could pay her 20 percent less.”
The 23-year-old model didn’t hold back and brought up her father’s infamous voicemail. “Dad, I’m Ireland,” she quipped. “It’s good to be here. I almost didn’t even know about it because I haven’t check my voicemails from my dad from the last, like, 12 years.”
Jeong pushed the boundaries tonight and went for it. His best of the night? “Caroline Rhea, you look like adel… a dell computer.” He later teased, “We’re really here to celebrate the real star of 30 Rock and SNL. But let’s be honest, Tina Fey said no. Alec, no offense but you weren’t the star of 30 Rock and with De Niro here, you’re not even the star of your own f–king roast.”
Nothing was off limits and Carolla bit was proof. “Ken Jeong showed his d–k in The Hangover, and Ken, I haven’t seen a d–k that small since I took my nephew ice-fishing!”
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Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are going their separate ways.
On Saturday evening, E! News confirmed the couple split after less than one year of marriage. “Liam and Miley have agreed to separate at this time,” a rep for the 26-year-old singer said in a statement shared with us.
The rep continued, “Ever evolving, changing as partners and individuals, they have decided this is what’s best while they both focus on themselves and careers. They still remain dedicated parents to all of their animals they share while lovingly taking this time apart. Please respect their process and privacy.”
The news of their breakup comes a few weeks after the two celebrated their 10-year anniversary. However, a source tells E! News “they were drifting apart” and were “trying to make it work for months now.”
“They have been trying to make it work for months now but haven’t felt they were connecting on the level they were feeling when they got married last year,” the insider shared. “It’s been a rough year.”
With the “Mother’s Daughter” hitting up the studio and going back on tour in Europe, the source explained “they have been spending a lot of time apart.”
If anything, the insider expressed that the Hunger Games star is “focused on a more simplified lifestyle while Miley has been preparing for a new wave of her music career.”
“She has been ready to put out music and be back in the game touring and performing. They really grew apart,” the source dished. “Miley and Liam have still been communicating and it wasn’t a messy split but they have decided they are at different points in their lives currently.”
Last month, Cyrus opened up about her “complex” and “unique” marriage to the 29-year-old actor.
“I think it’s very confusing to people that I’m married,” the 26-year-old singer shared. “But my relationship is unique… And I don’t know that I would ever publicly allow people in there because it’s so complex, and modern, and new that I don’t think we’re in a place where people would get it. I mean, do people really think that I’m at home in a f–king apron cooking dinner?”
She added, “I’m in a hetero relationship, but I still am very sexually attracted to women. People become vegetarian for health reasons, but bacon is still f–king good, and I know that. I made a partner decision. This is the person I feel has my back the most. I definitely don’t fit into a stereotypical wife role. I don’t even like that word.”
For Liam and Miley, the two have definitely had their fair share of ups and downs. The two were on-again, off-again before The Dressmaker actor proposed in 2012. However, they called off their engagement a year later. The pair reconciled their relationship in 2015.
They officially said their “I Do’s” in December 2018, in a private and intimate ceremony at their Tennessee estate.
Clearing her name.
On Tuesday’s all-new Total Divas, Carmella‘s character was under attack after she was accused of breaking up boyfriend Corey Graves‘ marriage. As the 31-year-old wrestler came into Graves’ life when he was already separated from his wife, Carmella felt she was being unfairly attacked online.
“When Corey and I started dating, he was already going through a divorce and he’d moved out,” Carmella shared in a confessional. “He has his own place. She has hers. Man, I mean, there’s really nothing else to say about it.”
Still, as Carmella prides herself “on always doing the right thing,” she chose to keep her relationship with Corey under wraps.
“I always follow the rules. I never f–king do anything wrong. I’m very like, by the book,” Carmella confided in Total Divas co-star Sonya Deville. “I even had anxiety [at] the thought of even entertaining the idea of dating him.”
Unfortunately, Carmella was pegged as a homewrecker after Corey’s ex made infidelity claims on social media. Of course, this post left the Total Divas star devastated, especially since her wrestling peers were talking about the drama at work.
“I’m uncomfortable. I feel like everyone is staring at me. I feel like everyone is judging me,” Carmella added later on. “It’s just crazy that they’re coming after me and for him it’s like, ‘Oh! Cool! Corey Graves got with Carmella. Good for him.’”
In order to get to the bottom of the drama, Carmella confronted Corey about his ex-wife’s accusation.
“Why the f–k would she go on social media and put that out there? I’m not kidding. This is not ok,” a frustrated Carmella stated to Corey. “I’m not ok right now. Literally, I’m getting death threats.”
During their chat, Corey assured Carmella that he “knew nothing about this” and had only ever told his ex Carmella’s name.
“She asked me about your name and I was like, ‘Yeah! I’ve been seeing her.’ I don’t know what the hell she thinks happened or what she wants it to be,” the WWE commentator retorted.
Even though Corey urged his new love to ignore the drama, Carmella broke down in tears as she couldn’t even defend herself online.
“It’s like the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. I don’t even know how to deal with it because I’ve never been through anything like this,” Carmella further expressed. “All I know is like, I love him and he loves me and we’re happy and I didn’t do anything wrong.”
In fact, the WWE superstar revealed that she knows in her heart she didn’t break up a family.
Despite dealing with this personal crisis, Carmella rallied so that she could compete in the first WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship match.
Sadly, this wasn’t an end to the drama in the wrestling maven’s life. While in Florida with Sonya ahead of the Fort Lauderdale Pride Parade, Carmella revealed her feud with Nia Jax had taken a turn for the worse.
Apparently, Nia had told Nikki Bella that Carmella was bad mouthing her. In reality, Carmella brought up her in-ring feud with Nikki as an example of how she can take a hit.
“The last thing I want is beef with Nicole. Why would Nia even say that?” an emotional Carmella exclaimed. “For Nia to stir the pot like that it’s just f–ked. Back the f–k up! What did I ever do that’s so wrong to Nia that she keeps wanting to bury me and stir the pot?”
See everything that went down on this week’s episode, including Nattie Neidhart‘s work concerns, in the recap video above!
Watch a brand new episode of Total Divas Tuesday at 10 p.m., only on E!
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